Sherlock's sister
by Lady of Slytherclaw
Summary: Sherlock's sister come visiting! And Hermione has questions for Sherlock. Oneshot, slightly crack.


John heard the doorbell ring, the usual inquiry for Sherlock, and the footsteps on the stairs. All this didn't rouse Sherlock, as he was deep in his mind palace, and was unlikely to be called out for some time.

A young woman with curly brown hair, wearing an engagement ring on her left hand, bounced into the room. She grinned at the sight of his flatmate, and sat down next to the thinking detective.

The woman leaned close to Sherlock, and stared at him. Very slowly, she raised finger and poked Sherlock on the check. John would have stopped her, but he had seen her face before in a picture while he was searching for another blanket in the closet.

The spectacle continued on for 5 more minutes. About 2 minutes in, Sherlock started blinking after every poke. Exactly 5 minutes later, he suddenly turned his eyes towards the young woman, and in a very un-Sherlocklike action, screamed shrilly and jumped about 3 feet off the couch. The woman just laughed and laughed. John did too, after a minute.

"Dear god. Must you _always_ do that, Hermione?"

"Yes, as it's the only way to get you out of that mind place. Did you know that I sent you an invitation _3_ weeks ago? 3, Sherlock, 3! Even for regular post you usually get back to me eventually." She went on.

"It's a mind _palace,_ Hermione. John, I'd hate for you to meet my sister, Hermione. Hermione, this is Dr. John Watson, my colleague and flatmate." Sherlock introduced, paying no attention to his sister's rant.

"Nice to meet you, Hermione. I knew he had a brother, but this is the first I've heard of a sister. Just how many other siblings does he have?" John asked jokingly.

"Six." Sherlock replied.

"What?"

"Six. I have seven brothers, one whom you know, and a sister, Hermione."

"Dean, Bruce, Merlin, Mycroft, Sam, Owen, Sherlock, Rory, and me!" Hermione listed off cheerfully.

"Nine of you?!" John exclaimed disbelievingly.

"It was a big house. And yes, Hermione, I did receive your invitation, it's in the mantle." Sherlock walked over to the fireplace and pulled out the knife from the stack of mail pinned there.

"See? Wedding of Hermione Jean Granger and Ronald Billius Weasley." Sherlock tossed the envelope on the coffee table.

"And why haven't you replied yet?" Hermione asked pointedly.

"Didn't see the need to go." Sherlock lay down on the sofa as Hermione moved to an armchair.

"But everyone is coming!" His sister pleaded.

"_Everyone?_ Even Bruce?" Sherlock asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I had to hunt him down in the middle of Peru, but yes."

"Merlin?"

"Arriving in Heathrow with his boyfriend on the 18th."

"Dean? Sam? Rory? Owen?"

"The boys are flying in from America in 2 weeks, and Rory and Owen are arriving at Reading Station the day after."

"What about Mycroft?"

"Is iffy for the reception, but is a definite for the ceremony."

"I suppose Mummy's coming as well?"

"She's given herself vacation time. Tanner almost had to force her to take 3 weeks instead of just 1."

"If everybody's going to be there, why do I have to?"

"Because I've promised my friends that all my brothers would be there. I've been bragging about my wonderful brothers for nine years, and they all want to finally meet them. Especially you, Sherlock. Ron, Harry and Ginny really want to meet my famous genius brother."

Sherlock huffed. "All your brothers are at least slight genii in their own respects. Why me?"

"_Please,_ Sherlock? Pretty please?" Hermione pleaded.

"No." Sherlock said half-heartedly.

"I'll give you my special edition of Amanda Wainwright's "Thesis on logic" with the forward by Einstein?" His sister offered.

"Oh, alright." Despite his words, there was an amount of content in his tone, like he was always going to agree, but just wanted to goad his sister.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" she squealed.

"You're welcome, Hermione. Now go away, I have thinking to do."

"Yes, dear! I'd better see you at the ceremony or I'll set Mummy on you!" Hermione dropped a kiss on Sherlock's cheek, and with a "Nice to meet you, John!" She was gone as quickly as she had arrived.

Sherlock dropped back on the sofa with a large sigh.

"My sister can be one of those people who can exhaust you by just being in the same room as her."

"Yes, she was rather…energetic, wasn't she." John remarked carefully.

"She's my sister, we all do that."

"One thing I was wondering about. If she's your sister, why is her name Granger instead of Holmes? Does she have a different father?"

"Our father's name isn't very well respected." Sherlock started hesitantly. "In fact, he did some rather despicable things.

"So when Dean moved out, he changed his name to Winchester. Bruce did the same and chose Banner. By the time Mycroft left, it had become a ritual. You turned 18, you chose your name, you packed up and you left. Merlin went for Morgan and moved to Canada; Sam followed Dean to America and changed to a Winchester too. Owen moved to Wales and chose Harper, and Rory became a doctor, moved to Scotland and went for Williams. It's what we all did. Hermione changed her when she was 11, as she was going to a new school and wanted to make friends, so she got permission from Mummy and was known as Granger thereon."

* * *

Just before the ceremony, a line of 8 tall, dark-haired intimidating men strode towards the groom.

"How many brothers does Hermione have again? " He nervously asked his best man.

"Eight. And 3 of them work for the government, as does their mother, another is apparently freakin' scary when he gets mad, and they are very protective of their little sister." The best man replied.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Just don't get Hermione mad at you. Or pregnant."

* * *

**How'd you like it?**

**Sorry if Sherlock or Hermione's OOC. Did anyone notice my little waves at some other fandoms? Namely Supernatural, Torchwood, Doctor Who, Avengers, Bond and Merlin.**

**In case some of you didn't get it, their mother is M from the Bond movies.**

**This is a oneshot, which means I'm probably not going to continue it.**

**Goodbye, loves you all, hope to see you soon!**

**Lady Slytherclaw**

**Reviews are food for the soul.**


End file.
